It was a heady night at the Cantab last night, folks, as Star Trek and Star Wars fans waged a war to be remembered for all eternity… Or at least until the galactically strong drinks wear off. Producer and idea-man Nathan Comstock tempted sixteen poets down the stairs into our wretched hive of booze and poetry, where each hoped that perhaps tonight would be a good night to slam. Slam co-host Adam Stone had produced two outrageously deadly drinks– the untenable Death Star and the similarly unfinishable Kobayashi Maru, both terrible yet popular ideas that decidedly reveal more about their creator than about those willing to engage– and a highly focused bar crowd settled in to lend their forebodingly un-pointy ears to the competitors.

Highlights of the night included Sean Patrick Mulroy’s “(It’s a) Traptych;” Sue Savoy’s local trouble with tribbles; Jade Sylvan’s on-board Enterprise slash fiction; and Kieran Collier’s desperate plea for legitimacy for The Phantom Menace– which was subsequently dissected by his own teammate, Ellyn Padme m*****f****** Amidala Touchette. However, infighting aside, Star Wars managed to take the win 5-2, bullseyeing the Trekkies like womp rats in Beggar’s Canyon. Look out, Disney, here we come!

Special thanks go to our hard-working celebrity judges for the night, of course, as well as whoever drank enough at the bar to give the Star Trek their consolation win for the night: the Kobayashi Maru outsold the Death Star 14-4.

Next Wednesday, we’ll be back, of course, with less strife, but all the intellectual character development; our feature will be Manchester’s Mckendy Fils-Aimé, all-star New England favorite, followed by an open poetry slam. See you there, poetry nerds!