Oooooohhhhh, Cantabbers. If your head hurts, your mouth is dry, and you have developed a passionate aversion to mangoes but a sudden attraction to French cheese, you might have been at last night’s Erotic Poetry Night/Box of Doom Slam. For those who don’t, won’t, or can’t remember what happened, we’ll just say: a lot of sexytimes came up to the mic and many of them were actually erotic! Just a few of our favorites included Andrew Campana’s foray into the mind of an unusual video game character, Sophia Holtz’ fruit poem to end all fruit poems, and Kemi Alabi’s sexuality-owning high-school-dancing Beyonce-all-day missive.
Of course, what with the open mic being pretty good, we had to get some really bad erotic poetry up in here. Adam Stone came to the rescue with a Box laden with Erotic Doom, and a selection of foolhardy poets willing to brave the horror within. After being regaled with terrifying rhymes about food, feet (foot fetishists: Adam has challenged you to up your game, remember), creepy stalkers, oral pleasure of questionable caliber, Star Trek, and a few anatomical impossibilities, the language of love ultimately prevailed… Chloé Cunha’s French accent in the first round brought the house down and achieved a few scores even higher than a 7.0, which was good enough to gain her a commanding lead and ultimately resulting in her big win. Thanks so much to everyone who slammed, judged, and heckled with us from the bar!
Next week: it’s time to get back to business, folks. February 19 marks the Team Selection Semi-Finals, wherein twelve poets are invited to return from Prelims to shoot for Finals in March. All of our winners from January have elected to advance, which gives us one wicked roster for the two-round show! Our open mic will be a little shorter than usual to make room for the 90-minute slam. Check out the link above for the listing for the first round, and don’t forget to pack $5 for this show, since we’ll be fundraising to send the eventual team to the National Poetry Slam in Oakland this August.